


empty your sadness

by haipollai



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-08 23:23:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3227384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haipollai/pseuds/haipollai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p>
<p>Jack starts to shake his head but stops himself. “Nothing to talk about.”</p>
<p>“Jack Zimmerman you were pacing the hallway at god knows what unholy hour and there’s nothing to talk about?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	empty your sadness

The sound of someone pacing wakes Bitty up at 3:14 according to his phone. For a long minute he stays in bed, trying to figure out who could possibly be out in the hallway at this hour. Their steps sound vaguely frantic and he hopes it isn’t an axe murderer looking for all the members of the ice hockey team. He thinks he should get up to check it out, but if it is an axe murderer than the last thing he wants to do is let him know that Bitty is right there.

Eventually, 3:16 according to his phone clutched in one hand just in case, Bitty gets out of bed and tip toes to the door to crack it open. The thing squeaks though and the person in the hallway spins towards him. 

“Bittle?”

“Jack!” He claps his hand over his mouth at how loud his voice sounds in the quiet. “Jack,” he says in a whisper, “what are you doing?” He opens the door wider so he can really look at him. He’s in his pajamas, rumpled as if he got out of bed in a hurry. His hands shake slightly, almost impossible to tell in the dark.

Everything about him is drawn and tight and on edge.

“I couldn’t sleep, go back to bed.” Jack tries an encouraging smile which falls incredibly flat.

“No way, we can do this in my room or kitchen.” He folds his arms, ready for the argument but Jack just slumps and after a moment, pushes past Eric into his room. 

“I just need to calm down,” he mumbles, dropping down onto the floor, his head in his hands. Eric sits beside him, not quite sure now that they’re here what he should be doing.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Jack starts to shake his head but stops himself. “Nothing to talk about.”

“Jack Zimmerman you were pacing the hallway at god knows what unholy hour and there’s nothing to talk about?” 

He looks surprised at the vehemence in Bitty’s voice but Jack woke him up so Bitty feels justified to feel whatever he wants. His face slowly softens into a small smile. “I’m okay, Bitty.”

Eric isn’t placated, it’s a really bad lie and no one who is okay is up right then, even Ransom is asleep and he has a test in two days.

Jack’s smile falters and the worn out carpet apparently becomes incredibly interesting. “Please don’t.”

It’s so sad and lost that Bitty can’t argue anymore and with a resigned sigh, he climbs back into bed. “You’re welcome to stay.”

“Bitty-” He chokes back whatever he’s going to say. “Eric, I’m sorry.” The worst is that Bitty knows he is but that doesn’t change that whatever is wrong Jack doesn’t trust him with it. But then again, Bitty doesn’t know why Jack would. Jack’s problems are things Bitty’s never had to deal with, what would he do to help?

The silence between them is heavy. Bitty can hear that he hasn’t left, hasn’t even moved. There’s no way Bitty can go back to sleep anyway. 

“Are you planning on sleeping on that floor?” Bitty finally says, unable to stand it any longer.

“Sorry I can-”

“You are not returning to your own room to mope alone, Mr. Zimmerman.” He twists around in bed so he can touch Jack’s shoulder.

“I’d rather stay here Bits.” He laughs drily. “I know where Shitty keeps all his stash, I can’t stay in there.” 

“Oh.” He pulls his hand back and resigns himself to staring at the back of Jack’s head in the dark. 

“It’s- I don’t mind. Touching,” Jack stammers. Carefully, not sure he even heard him right, Bitty reaches back out and rests his hand on Jack’s shoulder. His hand drifts over as they sit until its at the nape of his neck, and he can feel the fine hairs there against his fingertips. Jack sighs softly and his head tips forward.

Eric bites his tongue, not wanting to ruin the moment and sure if he lets himself he’ll hopelessly babble.

“Hockey wears me out, sleep easier during the season,” Jack speaks up first. “Sorry for-”

“Don’t you dare say sorry again.”

He chuckles softly “You treat me too well. I don’t deserve this.”

“Why not?” If anyone deserves to be cared for, Bitty is sure it’s Jack.

Maybe it’s the dark or the hour or nothing connecting them but Bitty’s fingers on his skin but everything is meaningful. “I fucked up, always going to be the fuck up. It’s okay, I know it.”

Bitty’s fingers tighten without him meaning to but Jack makes a surprised sound but instead of pulling away, Bitty moves closer, wrapping his arm around Jack. There’s nothing he can say because Jack is so sure of it, there’s nothing he knows of that can break that conviction. He buries his face into the crook of his neck. Jack curls one hand into Bitty’s hair, he can feel him pulling lightly on his curls.

“Can I- I think I can sleep now,” Jack murmurs.

Bitty reluctantly sits back, expecting Jack to get up and leave but instead Jack climbs up into bed with him, giving him a confused look when Bitty doesn’t catch on at first. His eyes start to slide away and there’s a faint tremor in his hands. Bitty quickly moves, making as much space as he can and Jack still presses up tightly against him. “Stay.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m sure you’ll make it up to me.” Bitty feels like he might finally be able to sleep now but he’s not sure he wants to yet. “You know you can talk to me anytime, right? You can even talk to me in French if that’s easier. I won’t be able to help I guess if you only tell me in French.”

“Go to sleep, Bittle.” His nose is cold against Bitty’s shoulder but Bitty wouldn’t dare push him away.

“In a minute.”

Jack sighs and holds on a little tighter, as if Bitty might change his mind and kick him out. “I’m an addict, you can’t help with that,” Jack sounds as if he’s finally falling asleep. “It doesn’t go away.”

“I’m not gonna go away either.” He can’t see Jack’s face, he doesn’t know if he believes him or not. Bitty’s not sure if Jack should believe him, it feels like a bad promise to make. “Thought you were an axe murderer.”

“What?”

“Woke me up. Thought axe murderer.”

Jack huffs out a warm laugh and somehow presses closer. “Bits.”

“Shuddup, go to sleep.”


End file.
